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How to find inner peace when you feel like you’re never getting enough done
Mums (and Dads), we’ve been through a lot recently.
We’ve been trying to do it all whilst feeling as if we’re never doing enough.
We’ve been constantly comparing ourselves to other mums who seem to be superheroes. That can juggle a million things whilst still looking like glamour queens.
When the pandemic first hit us in the UK, I felt a whirlwind of emotions – confusion, uncertainty, inadequacy. At one point, those thoughts and feelings took over me and I felt like the worst mum on earth. But one day, I just happened to share my feelings with other mums. I was so relieved at the resounding replies of “so do I.”
The fact is that so many mums feel as if no matter how much they do or achieve, it’s never enough. However, the truth is that everything you do makes a huge difference in the lives of those little ones that cherish, adore and love you. For them, those small everyday acts like cooking, cleaning or giving them a cuddle, mean everything.
My attitude towards productivity actually changed not during the pandemic, but when I first gave birth. I immediately felt like a failure. Due to my inability to do anything and for a while, it really affected me. But one day, out of nowhere a mantra popped into my head. The concept was so simple and almost silly but it literally transformed my outlook on everything. It’s the same mantra that I’ve stuck to in order to get through this pandemic. The mantra was, ‘aim for just 1-3 things a day’. In other words, rather than aiming to achieve a million things or ticking boxes on my ‘to do list’. My new goal was to just do a maximum of three things. Anything beyond those 3 is classed as a bonus. In fact, going beyond 3 things basically makes me a superhero and awards me a treat. In the midst of the pandemic, whilst feeling like a failure, that same mantra came to me again. I thought – that’s it, more mums need to hear about this. So, from now on, instead of pressuring yourself to do it all, aim to accomplish 1-3 things a day. That’s it.
Instead of allowing those feelings of inadequacy to overwhelm you. Replace them with new goals that are bit-sized, achievable and effective.
The 1-3 things can be anything from 5 minutes of self care to reading with your little one. They don’t need to be big time-consuming things. Simply prioritise those 1-3 things each day rather than pressuring yourself to do more.
Instead of pressuring myself to do a million things, I just focus on my 1-3 and that’s it. I now have this sense of peace and clarity. It works wonders.
What I’d like you to do is to no longer pressure yourself to be a superhero mum, who’s running around trying to do it all. Instead, mentally accept that you’re enough, you’re doing enough and you’re doing your best. Then, commit to doing just 1-3 things each day and remove all pressures to do more than that.
Victoria Ademosu is a best-selling education author and the founder of award-winning education company, TheTutoress.com. She’s passionate about music, reading and helping children to develop a love for literacy. She holds free mini English tutorials (for children ages 9-11) every Wednesday on her Facebook page: www.facebook.com/thetutoressonline.